God wants
all spouses to pray to Him before the marital act to protect them and
keep them from sinning
It is clear from
the Bible and the Saints that spouses who wish to be perfect should
pray to God and ask Him to keep them from sinning during the marital
act as well as that He may grant them offspring to the honor and
glory of His Holy name, if this is His will; and that He might
minimize the amount of pleasure they will feel, so that they may not
grow attached to it. God might grant this prayer to a couple if they
so desire, but if they are not granted this gift (the minimizing of
pleasure or the begetting of children) they should still focus their
pleasure and love towards God, and not on themselves. God namely
demands of us to not forget about Him during the procreative act.
People usually tend to forget about God when they put too much
attention on themselves, their spouse, or the pleasure derived from
different acts. We can read about this truth in the book of Tobias:
“For
they who in such manner receive matrimony, AS
TO SHUT OUT GOD FROM THEMSELVES, AND FROM THEIR MIND,
and to give
themselves to their lust,
as the horse and mule, which have not understanding, over
them the devil hath power.”
(Tobias 6:17)
Notice
the words “from their mind”. All our thoughts and desires exist
in the mind (or heart), and God wishes us to have Him there. The best
thing then, and which God demands of you, is that you think about Him
and love Him during all times, even during the procreative act, and
husbands and wives should not be ashamed of doing so. Is not God
better or more worthy of being desired or lusted
after than
a husband or wife will ever be? The more a person loves God, the more
will also that person desire to be close to God, during all times.
One of the
greatest mistakes many couples undoubtedly commit today is that they
strive to know and be close with their loved ones and their spouse
rather than with God (who knows everything and sees everything), and
that they rather think of pleasing their loved ones and their spouse
more than pleasing God (who created them and redeemed them, yes even
died for them). This is also the reason for why so many of them
commit shameful sexual sins of various sorts; for they know not God
nor care to please Him.
Tobias
8:4-5 “Then Tobias exhorted the virgin, and said to her: Sara,
arise, and let us pray to God today, and tomorrow, and
the next day: because for these three nights we are joined to God:
and when the third night is over, we will be in our own wedlock. For
we are the children of saints, and we must not be joined together
like heathens that know not God.”
Some may perhaps
object that praying to or thinking about God during the marital act
is shameful and that one must pray to or think of God only in those
circumstances when one is composed and calm, which a person normally
is not during the marital act. This objection however is completely
false since there is not a single instance in this life when we
cannot pray to God for His help or have Him present in our thought.
Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself commanded “that we ought always to
pray, and not to faint” (Luke 18:1). Even
when we are in mortal sin, which is infinitely more shameful and evil
than the marital act, we are allowed and encouraged to pray and
beseech God, since all people need God’s help in order to be saved.
Saint Alphonsus
Maria de Liguori, in his work “The Way Of Salvation And Of
Perfection,” explains to us the necessity to pray always:
“Let
us pray, then, and let us always be asking for grace, if we wish to
be saved. Let prayer be our most delightful occupation; let prayer be
the exercise of our whole life. And when we are asking for
particular graces, let us always pray for the grace to continue to
pray for the future; because if we leave off praying we shall be
lost. There is nothing easier than prayer. What does it cost us to
say, Lord, stand by me! Lord, help me! give me Thy love! and the
like? What can be easier than this? But if we do not do so, we cannot
be saved. Let us pray, then, and let us always shelter our selves
behind the intercession of Mary: “Let us seek for grace, and let us
seek it through Mary,” says St. Bernard. And when we recommend
ourselves to Mary, let us be sure that she hears us and obtains for
us whatever we want. She cannot lack either the power or the will to
help us, as the same saint says: “Neither means nor will can be
wanting to her.” And St. Augustine addresses her: “Remember, O
most pious Lady, that it has never been heard that any one who fled
to thy protection was forsaken.” Remember that the case has never
occurred of a person having recourse to thee, and having been
abandoned. Ah, no, says St. Bonaventure, he who invokes Mary, finds
salvation; and therefore he calls her “the salvation of those who
invoke her.” Let us, then, in our prayers always invoke Jesus and
Mary; and let us never neglect to pray.
“…
But before concluding, I cannot help saying how grieved I feel when I
see that though the Holy Scriptures and the Fathers so often
recommend the practice of prayer, yet so few other religious writers,
or confessors, or preachers, ever speak of it; or if they do speak of
it, just touch upon it in a cursory way, and leave it. But I,
seeing the necessity of prayer, say, that the great lesson which all
spiritual books should inculcate on their readers, all preachers on
their hearers, and all confessors on their penitents, is this, to
pray always; thus they should admonish them to pray; pray, and never
give up praying. If you pray, you will be certainly saved; if you do
not pray, you will be certainly damned.” (St. Alphonsus, The
Way Of Salvation And Of Perfection, The Ascetical Works. Vol. II)
All people need
God’s grace in order to be saved, and it is a heresy to say
otherwise. It is indeed very true that a person cannot, by his own
power or without God’s help, save himself or avoid even committing
a slight venial sin. This is true even with pagans, who do not know
or believe in God. God helps even them and gives them strength to do
good. That is why only those people who have neglected God’s
presence and prayer (which is the same as talking with God everyday
as with a real person, supplicating Him for help and giving Him
glory) have been lost.
St. Alphonsus
Liguori continues to expound on the necessity of prayer in his “Short
Treatise on Prayer,” Chapter IV, that speaks “Of the Humility
of with Which We Ought to Pray”:
“The
Lord regards the prayers of His servants who are humble: ‘He hath
had regard to the prayers of the humble.’ (Ps. 101:18). But to the
prayers of the proud He does not attend; no, He rejects them with
disdain: ‘God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.’
(St. James 4:6). The Almighty does not hear the supplications of the
proud who trust in their own strength, but leaves them to their own
weakness and misery, which, when they are abandoned by divine grace,
will infallibly lead them to perdition. ‘Before I was humbled,’
said holy David, ‘I offended.’ (Ps. 118:67), as if he said, I
have sinned because I have not been humble. A similar misfortune
befell St. Peter. When this apostle was admonished by Jesus Christ,
that on the night of His passion all the disciples should abandon Him
their Lord and Master, instead of acknowledging his own weakness, and
asking strength from above to remain faithful, he trusted in his own
power, and exclaimed, ‘Although all shall be scandalized in thee, I
will never be scandalized.’ (St. Matt. 26:33). Jesus said to him:
Amen I say to thee that in this night before the cock crow, thou wilt
deny me thrice; Peter confiding in his own courage, rejoined
boastingly, ‘Yea, though I should die with thee, I will not deny
thee.’ (ver. 35). And what was the result? Scarce had Peter entered
the house of the high priest, when he three times denied the charge
of being a disciple of Jesus, and to his denial added the solemnity
of an oath. And again he denied with an oath, that ‘I know not the
man.’ (Matt. 26:72). Had Peter been humble, and had asked of God
the gift of constancy, he would not have denied his master.
“Each
one should consider that he is, as it were, on the top of a lofty
mountain, suspended over the abyss of all sins, and supported only by
the thread of God’s grace; if this thread give way he shall
infallibly fall into the abyss, and shall perpetrate the most
enormous crimes. ‘Unless the Lord had been my helper, my soul had
almost dwelt in hell.’ (Psalm 43:17). If God had not succoured me,
I would have fallen into numberless sins, and should now be buried in
hell. Such, were the sentiments of the Psalmist, and such should be
the sentiments of each one of us. It was from a conviction of his own
nothingness and misery, that St. Francis used to say, that he was the
greatest sinner in the world. His companion, on one occasion, said to
him, ‘Father, what you say cannot be true, surely, there are many
greater sinners than you.’ ‘What I have said,’ replied the
saint, ‘is too true, for if God had not preserved me, I would have
committed sins of every kind.’
“It
is of faith, that without the assistance of grace we cannot perform
any good work, or even have a good thought. ‘Without grace,’ says
St. Augustine, ‘men do nothing whatever either by thought or
action.’--S. Augus. de Corr. et Grat. cap 2. ‘As the eye cannot
see without light,’ said the saint, ‘so we can do nothing without
grace.’ ‘Not,’ says the apostle, ‘that we are sufficient to
think any thing of ourselves, as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is
from God.’ (1 Cor 3:5). And the royal prophet says, ‘Unless the
Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it.’ (Ps.
126:1). In vain does a man labor to sanctify himself unless God
assist him. ‘Unless,’ he says in the same Psalm, ‘the Lord keep
the city, he watcheth in vain that keepeth it.’ (Ibid). If God does
not guard the soul from sin, in vain will man by his own strength
endeavor to preserve her from its stain. Hence the Psalmist says,
‘For I will not trust in my bow.’ (Ps. 43:7). I will not confide
in my own arms, but in God, who is able to save me.
“Hence,
whosoever had done good, or has abstained from great sins, should say
with St. Paul, ‘By the grace of God I am what I am.’ (1 Cor
15:10), and ought to tremble, lest on the first occasion he should
fall. ‘Wherefore he that thinketh himself to stand, let him take
heed lest he fall.’ (1 Cor 10:12). By these words the apostle
insinuates that he who considers himself secure, is in very great
danger of falling. For in another place he says, ‘if any man think
himself to be something, whereas he is nothing, he deceiveth
himself.’ (Gal. 6:3). Hence St. Augustine wisely observes, ‘The
presumption of stability renders many unstable; no one will be so
strong as he who feels his own weakness.’ (Ser. 13 de verb. Dom).
Whosoever says that he entertains no fear of being lost, betrays a
pernicious self-confidence and security by which he deceives himself.
For, confiding in his own strength, he ceases to tremble, and being
free from fear, he neglects to recommend himself to God, and left to
his own weakness, he infallibly falls. For the same reason, every one
should be careful to abstain from indulging vain glory at not having
committed the sins into which others have fallen; and should even
esteem himself worse than them, saying, Lord if you had not assisted
me, I would have been guilty of much more grievous transgressions.
But if any one glory in his own works, and prefer himself before
others, the Almighty, in chastisement of his pride, will permit him
to fall into the most grievous and horrible crimes. The apostle says,
‘With fear and trebling work out your salvation.’ (Phil. 2:12).
The timid distrust their own powers, and placing all their confidence
in God fly to His protection in all dangers. He will enable them to
overcome the temptations to which they are exposed, and they shall be
saved. St. Philip Neri walking one day through Rome, was heard
frequently to say, ‘I despair.’ Being corrected by a religious,
he replied; ‘Father, I despair of being saved by myself, but trust
in God.’ We should continually distrust ourselves, and thus we
shall imitate St. Philip, who was accustomed to say every morning as
soon as he awoke. ‘Lord preserve me this day, otherwise I will
betray you.’
“We
may then conclude with St. Augustine, that the great science of a
Christian is to know that he is nothing, and that he can do nothing.
‘This is the great science, to know that man is nothing.’ A
Christian who is convinced of his own nothingness will constantly
seek and obtain from God by humble prayer, the strength which he does
not possess, without which he cannot resist temptation or do good,
and with which he can do all things. ‘The prayer of him that
humbleth himself, shall pierce the clouds: and he will not depart
till the most high behold.’ (Eccles. 35:21). The prayer of a humble
soul penetrates the heavens, and ascending to the throne of God, will
not depart till it is regarded with complacency by the Almighty: and
however enormous the sins of such a soul may be, the supplications of
a humble heart cannot be rejected: ‘A contrite and humbled heart, O
God, thou wilt not despise.’ (Ps 50:19). ‘God resisteth the proud
and gives His grace to the humble.’ (St. James 4:6). God treats the
proud with scorn and refuses their demands; but to the humble He is
sweet and liberal. This is precisely the sentiment which Jesus Christ
one day expressed to St. Catherine of Sienna: ‘Be assured, my
child, that a soul who perseveres in humble prayer obtains every
virtue.’ (Ap. Blos. In. Con. Cap. 3)
“I
shall here insert the beautiful observations addressed to those who
aspire to perfection, by the learned and pious Palafox, Bishop of
Osma, in a note on the 18th letter of St. Teresa. In that letter the
saint gives to her confessor, a detailed account of all the degrees
of supernatural prayer with which she had been favored. The bishop,
in his remarks on the letter, observes that these supernatural graces
which God deigned to bestow on St. Teresa and other saints, are not
necessary for the attainment of sanctity; since without them, many
are arrived at a high degree of perfection, and obtained eternal
life, while many enjoyed them, and were afterwards damned. He says
that the practice of the gospel virtues, and particularly of the love
of God, being the true and only way to sanctity, it is superfluous
and even presumptuous to desire and seek such extraordinary gifts.
These virtues are acquired by prayer, and by corresponding with the
lights and helps of God, who ardently desires our sanctification.’
(Thess. 4:3)
“Speaking
of the degrees of supernatural prayer described by St. Teresa, the
holy bishop wisely observes, that as to the prayer of quiet, we
should only desire and beg of God, to free us from all attachment and
affection to worldly goods, which, instead of giving peace to the
soul, fills it with inquietude and affliction. Solomon justly called
them, ‘vanity of vanities, and vexation of spirit.’ (Eccl. 1:14)
The heart of man can never enjoy true peace till it is divested of
all that is not God, and entirely devoted to His holy love, to the
exclusion of every object from the soul. But man of himself cannot
arrive at this perfect consecration of his being to God; he can only
obtain it by constant prayer. As to the sleep of suspension of the
powers, we should entreat the Almighty to keep them in a profound
sleep with regard to all temporal affairs, and awake only to meditate
on His Divine goodness, and to seek divine love and eternal goods.
For, all sanctity and the perfection of charity, consists in the
union of our will with the holy will of God. As to the union of the
powers, we should only pray that God may teach us by his grace, not
to think or seek, or wish any thing but what He wills.
“As
to ecstasy or rapture let us ask the Lord to eradicate from our
hearts inordinate love of ourselves and of creatures and to draw us
entirely to Himself to the flight of the Spirit, we will merely
implore the grace of perfect detachment from the world, that, like
the bird which never rests on the earth, and feeds in its flight, we
may never fix the heart on any sensual enjoyment, but by attending
towards heaven, employ things of this world only for the support
thereof. As to the impulse of Spirit, let us ask God courage and
strength to do the violence to ourselves which may be necessary to
resist the attacks of the enemy, to over come our passions, or to
embrace suffering even in the midst of spiritual dryness and
desolation. Finally, as to the wound as the remembrance of a wound is
constantly kept alive by the pain it inflicts, we should supplicate
the Lord to fill our hearts with His holy love to such a degree, that
we may be always reminded of His goodness and affection towards us
and thus we may devote our lives to love, and please Him by our works
and affections. These graces will not be obtained without prayer; but
by humble, confident, and persevering prayer, all God’s gifts may
be procured.” (St. Alphonsus, A Short Treatise on Prayer,
Chapter IV, “Of the Humility of with Which We Ought to Pray”)
The
necessity to always guard ourselves against sin requires all to pray
in different situations. St. Jerome writes, “Farther, although the
apostle bids us to pray without ceasing, (1 Thessalonians 5:17) and
although to the saints their very sleep is a supplication, we ought
to have fixed hours of prayer, that if we are detained by work, the
time may remind us of our duty. Prayers, as every one knows, ought to
be said at the third, sixth and ninth hours, at dawn and at evening.
No meal should be begun without prayer, and before leaving table
thanks should be returned to the Creator. We should rise two or three
times in the night, and go over the parts of Scripture which we know
by heart. When we leave the roof which shelters us, prayer should be
our armor; and when we return from the street we should pray before
we sit down, and not give the frail body rest until the soul is fed.
In every act we do, in every step we take, let our hand trace the
Lord's cross.” (Letter of Eustochium)
The
necessity of praying to God that the marital act will beget children
before coming together in the marital act
Our
Lord Jesus Christ Himself indicates in The
Revelations of St. Bridget
that those couples who are lustful and perform the marital sexual act
for the sole motive of pleasure without excusing it with the motive
of procreation or a prayer that the act will beget children before
they perform every single marital act, are sinning against His Law
and He says that “such a married couple will never see my face
unless they repent”, which thus means that all those couples who
are lustful and perform the marital sexual act for the sole motive of
pleasure without excusing it with the motive of procreation will be
damned unless they repent.
Our
Lord Jesus Christ spoke to Saint Bridget, saying:
“Those
who unite with divine love and fear for the sake of procreation and
to raise children for the honor of God are my spiritual temple where
I wish to dwell as the third with them.”
Speaking
about damned and lustful spouses, however, Our Lord tells us that:
“They
seek a warmth and sexual lust that will perish and love flesh that
will be eaten by worms.
Therefore do such people join in marriage without the bond and union
of God the Father and without the Son’s love and without the Holy
Spirit’s consolation. When
the couple comes to bed, my Spirit leaves them immediately and the
spirit of impurity approaches instead, because
they only come together for the sake of lust and
do not discuss or think about anything else with each other
[and
through this refusal to excuse the marital sexual act with the motive
of procreation and being governed solely by lust, such a couple is
damned]. … Such
a married couple will never see my face unless they repent.
For there is no sin so heavy or grave that penitence and repentance
does not wash it away.”
(The
Revelations of St. Bridget,
Book 1, Chapter 26)
This Revelation
also gives us an indication that Our Lord wants the spouses to be
with each other when they perform the short prayer to God that their
marital sexual act will beget children if it is His Holy Will, rather
than only performing the prayer alone. Indeed, Our Lord wants spouses
to pray both individually and together to Him to grant them children
through their marital act if this is His holy will since he
explicitly condemns
spouses who “do
not discuss or think about anything else [than lust] with each other”
before they intend to perform the marital act.
In addition, this Revelation of Our Lord also shows us the inherent
evil of NFP or contraception; for, since it is clear that the Church
and Her Saints teaches that it is even sinful to perform the normal,
natural and procreative
sexual act without excusing it with the motive of procreation, how
much more must not those who try to hinder procreation, as in the
case of those who use NFP, be guilty of a most grievous sin against
God and nature?
Jesus tells us of
the necessity of praying always (Luke 18:1). We are never to cease
praying (1 Thess. 5:17). Thus, Christian married couples will always
have marital relations in the context of prayer. Tobias’ prayer
before marital relations with his wife is an example of this (Tobit
8:4-8). In prayer, we express our weakness and God’s power (2 Cor.
12:9) to rectify problems in marital relations.
Praying
the Rosary before, during and after marital relations is highly
recommended since it is the most powerful prayer ever given to
mankind. Praying the Rosary will undoubtedly
give countless of graces that diminishes sinful inclinations,
thoughts and temptations that constantly plague people. Granted,
it might be hard to pray during or right before the marital act, at
least in a worthy and proper manner, but spouses should do their best
to at least silently acknowledge the presence of God Almighty and His
Mother, by loving Them deeply during the act, expressing loving words
towards God and His Blessed Mother, supplicating Them for Their Help
to resist sinful inclinations. And husband and wife should not be
ashamed of having recourse to Our Lord and the Blessed Virgin during
intercourse. In contrast, what better thing can there possibly be for
a couple than to always have God and the thought of loving God in
their minds during all times?
Sister Lucy of
Fatima, regarding the Holy Rosary, said the following words to Fr.
Augustin Fuentes on December 26, 1957:
“Look,
Father, the Most Holy Virgin, in these last times in which we live,
has given a new efficacy to the recitation of the Rosary. She has
given this efficacy to such an extent that there is no problem, no
matter how difficult it is, whether temporal or above all spiritual,
in the personal life of each one of us, of our families, of the
families of the world or of the religious communities, or even of the
life of peoples and nations, that cannot be solved by the Rosary.
There is no problem I tell you, no matter how difficult it is, that
we cannot resolve by the prayer of the Holy Rosary.”
We highly
recommend that all 15 decades of the Rosary be prayed daily [See: How to Pray the Rosary]. Our Lady
repeatedly emphasized the importance of praying the Rosary each day
in her messages at Fatima. She even said that Francisco would have to
pray ‘many rosaries’ before he could go to Heaven. You should
prioritize reading the word of God (Catholic books and the Catholic
Bible) and praying before other activities to grow in the spirit.
Praying all 15 decades of the Rosary each day can be accomplished in
a variety of ways. However, for many it is best accomplished by
praying a part of the Rosary at different times of the day, for
example, the joyful mysteries in the morning, sorrowful mysteries at
midday, and glorious mysteries in the evening. ‘Salve Regina’
only needs to be prayed at the end of the entire day’s rosary. An
essential part of the Rosary is meditation on the mysteries, episodes
in the life of Our Lord and Our Lady. This means thinking about them,
visualizing them, considering the graces and merits displayed in
them, and using them for inspiration to better know and love God. It
is also common to focus on a particular virtue with each mystery.
You can easily
accomplish praying the fifteen decades of the Rosary each day by
dividing it up to small sections during the day. For example, you can
make a habit to go down on your knees and pray 1 to 10 Hail Marys
every time you enter or exit your room. The best time for prayer is
in the morning, since the mind is more clear from the thoughts and
discussions of the world, so we advise you to always dedicate time in
the morning for the Rosary. The Rosary is the most powerful weapon in
existence against the Devil and those who neglect it will indeed be
eternally sorry for refusing to honor our Lady as she deserves! Think
and reflect upon what greatness it is to be able to speak with the
God of the whole creation and His Mother whenever we want. It is
almost impossible for a man to be able to speak with a king or queen
of this world, and yet the King of kings and his beloved Mother hear
your every word. In truth, I tell you, that even one good word of
prayer has more worth than all gold and jewels and an infinite amount
of universes, for they will all perish, but God’s words will never
perish. Think about how much you would concentrate and fight against
distracting thoughts if someone were to tell you that you could have
10,000 dollars or a new car if you prayed a Rosary with full
concentration and without yielding to distracting thoughts. This
example should shame us all since we humans are, by our very nature,
wicked at heart and are inclined to search for filth rather than gold
(worldly things rather than heavenly ones). Everyone should try to
remember this example, and then we will all be able to pray better
which will bring us an everlasting, heavenly reward! The devils
concentrate exceedingly much on getting a person to despise prayer in
these ways: either they try to make you bored by it, or to have a
difficulty in concentrating when praying, or to pray a little; for
they know that prayer is the only way to salvation.
Indeed, St.
Alphonsus, in his book “The Great Means of Salvation and of
Perfection,” in the section “On the Necessity and Power of
Prayer”, explains that “the devil is never more busy to distract
us with the thoughts of worldly cares than when he perceives us
praying and asking God for grace”:
“On
this point, then, we have to fix all our attention, namely, to pray
with confidence, feeling sure that by prayer all the treasures of
heaven are thrown open to us. “Let us attend to this,” says St.
Chrysostom, “and we shall open heaven to ourselves.” Prayer is a
treasure; he who prays most receives most. St. Bonaventure says that
every time a man has recourse to God by fervent prayer, he gains good
things that are of more value than the whole world: “Any day a man
gains more by devout prayer than the whole world is worth.” Some
devout souls spend a great deal of time in reading and in meditating,
but pay but little attention to prayer. There is no doubt that
spiritual reading, and meditation on the eternal truths, are very
useful things; “but,” says St. Augustine, “it is of much more
use to pray.” By reading and meditating we learn our duty; but by
prayer we obtain the grace to do it. “It is better to pray than to
read: by reading we know what we ought to do; by prayer we receive
what we ask.” What is the use of knowing our duty, and then not
doing it, but to make us more guilty in God’s sight? Read and
meditate as we like, we shall never satisfy our obligations, unless
we ask of God the grace to fulfill them.
“And,
therefore, as St. Isidore observes, the devil is never more busy to
distract us with the thoughts of worldly cares than when he perceives
us praying and asking God for grace: “Then mostly does the devil
insinuate thoughts, when he sees a man praying.” And why? Because
the enemy sees that at no other time do we gain so many treasures of
heavenly goods as when we pray. This is the chief fruit of mental
prayer, to ask God for the graces which we need for
perseverance and for eternal salvation; and chiefly for
this reason it is that mental prayer is morally necessary for the
soul, to enable it to preserve itself in the grace of God. For if a
person does not remember in the time of meditation to ask for the
help necessary for perseverance, he will not do so at any other time;
for without meditation he will not think of asking for it, and will
not even think of the necessity for asking it. On the other hand,
he who makes his meditation every day will easily see the needs of
his soul, its dangers, and the necessity of his prayer; and so he,
will pray, and will obtain the graces which will enable him to
persevere and save his soul. Father Segneri said of himself, that
when he began to meditate, he aimed rather at exciting affections
than at making prayers. But when he came to know the necessity and
the immense utility of prayer, he more and more applied himself, in
his long mental prayer, to making petitions.” (St. Alphonsus, The
Great Means of Salvation and of Perfection, “On the Necessity
and Power of Prayer”)
In truth, the
devil knows that mental prayer and prayer from the heart is very
effective in weakening and destroying his hold and power over us, and
that is also why he tries to get people to leave it off completely,
telling them that it’s useless when it in fact is one of the best
ways, if not the best way to use in order to conquer the might of the
Devil and his temptations:
“Some
one may say, I do not make mental prayer [from the heart], but I say
many vocal prayers [with the tongue]. But it is necessary to know, as
St. Augustine remarks, that to obtain the divine grace it is not
enough to pray with the tongue: it is necessary also to pray with the
heart. On the words of David: “I cried to the Lord with my voice,”
the holy Doctor [Augustine] says: “Many cry not with their own
voice (that is, not with the interior voice of the soul), but with
that of the body. Your thoughts are a cry to the Lord. Cry with in,
where God hears.” This is what the Apostle inculcates. Praying at
all times in the spirit. In general, vocal prayers are said
distractedly [through mere habit] with the voice of the body, but not
of the heart [as in mental prayer], especially when they are long,
and still more especially when said by a person who does not make
mental prayer [from the heart]; and therefore God seldom hears them,
and seldom grants the graces asked [since they only pray by habit or
custom and thus lack the real disposition of a true purpose, love,
faith and desire required in order to be heard]. Many say the Rosary,
the Office of the Blessed Virgin, and perform other works of
devotion; but they still continue in sin.
But it is impossible for him who perseveres in mental prayer to
continue in sin; he will either give up meditation or renounce sin. A
great servant of God used to say that mental prayer and sin cannot
exist together. And this we see by experience: they who make mental
prayer rarely incur the enmity of God; and should they ever have the
misfortune of falling into sin, by persevering in mental prayer, they
see their misery, and return to God. Let a soul, says St. Teresa, be
ever so negligent, if she persevere in meditation, the Lord will
bring her back to the haven of salvation.” (St. Alphonsus, The
True Spouse of Jesus Christ, CHAPTER XV: MENTAL PRAYER, Moral
Necessity of Mental Prayer for Religious)
Thus, in
accordance with the advice of St. Alphonsus, a person should not be
afraid of also praying from the heart, preferably at all times, in
addition to saying vocal prayers, since this is the most perfect,
highest and unitive form of prayer with God.
It is, however, a
really bad sign when a person feels an aversion or contempt to holy
prayers like the Rosary. A person should do his utmost to persevere
in praying the Rosary and other vocal and mental prayers since the
Devil often tempts people to stop praying them because he knows and
feels how much they lessen his power over a person’s soul.
St.
Louis De Montfort (A.D. 1710): “Blessed Alan de la Roche who was so
deeply devoted to the Blessed Virgin had many revelations from her
and we know that he confirmed the truth of these revelations by a
solemn oath. Three of them stand out with special emphasis: the
first, that if people fail to say the ‘Hail Mary’ (the Angelic
Salutation which has saved the world – Luke 1:28) out of
carelessness, or because they are lukewarm, or because they hate it,
this is a sign that they will probably and indeed shortly be
condemned to eternal punishment.” (Secret of the Rosary, p.
45)
The Rosary is an
important part of a happy marriage, and all who reject it will
undoubtedly lose an immense amount of grace: "When very
frequently We receive newly married couples in audience and address
paternal words to them, We give them rosaries, We recommend these to
them earnestly, and We exhort them, citing Our own example, not to
let even one day pass without saying the Rosary, no matter how
burdened they may be with many cares and labors." (Pope Pius XI,
Ingravescentibus Malis, 1937)
Most people, for
instance, do not frequently give themselves enough time to perform
their prayers, and especially longer prayers, and the consequence of
this will be that most of them will pray very little, or seldom. A
good form of prayer, then, that is more easily performed by everyone,
no matter how troublesome prayer may ever feel to you, or however
little time you might imagine that you have to spare, is simply that
you talk with God as with a real person at all times: in your car, in
the toilet, in your work, when you eat... yes everywhere and at all
times a man can talk with God, Our Creator and Father as with a real
person in the same way as little children does towards their own
Father, like when they tell Him how much they love Him, and
mentioning all their troubles and worries and that He might help them
and protect them, supplicating His help all the time. We should thus
learn from these little Children and imitate them and behave as they
do towards our own Father and Mother in Heaven, by telling Them that
we love Them and that we want to love Them very much and that we need
Their help to love Them even more and that we need Their help to
resist sin and do good, whatever it might be. A person who prays with
confidence in this way everyday will certainly not be lost or be
neglecting his duty to pray well. Jesus Christ himself teaches us
this very concept in the Bible.
Luke
18:1 “And he [Jesus] spoke also a parable to them, that we ought
always to
pray,
and not to faint...”
Haydock
Commentary: “Always
to pray,
i.e. to pray daily, and frequently; (Witham) and also to walk always
in the presence of God, by a spirit of prayer, love, and sorrow for
sin.”
In truth, if we
are like children, rejecting the vanity, shallowness, greed and lust
of the world, we shall never be damned: “Then were little children
presented to him, that he should impose hands upon them and pray. And
the disciples rebuked them. But Jesus said to them: Suffer the little
children, and forbid them not to come to me: for the kingdom of
heaven is for such. And when he had imposed hands upon them, he
departed from thence.” (Matthew 19:13-15)
Haydock
Commentary explains these verses: “Jesus
said... Suffer the little children...
and declares that the kingdom of heaven is the portion of such as
resemble these little ones, by the innocence of their lives and
simplicity of their hearts. He, moreover, shews that confidence in
our own strength, in our own free-will, and in our merits, is an
invincible obstacle to salvation.”
For those who want to read and learn a lot more on sexual ethics, I can recommend the following interesting and informative article that is absolutely packed with quotes from the popes, saints and fathers of the Church:
Sexual Pleasure, the Various Sexual Acts, and Procreation
