Q&A: "I am a homosexual. I don't know what to do. I have suicidal thoughts."

Email question: “Hello, I am a member of the catholic church, but recently I have discovered that I am a homosexual. I don't know what to do. I have suicidal thoughts. Sometimes I feel like I am a pile of sin. Please help me, I don't know what to do with myself.”

Answer: Hello, you are only a homosexual if you accept that you are a homosexual. Reject this perversion with all your will, and even if you are tempted, say to yourself that you do not agree with it and that you don't want this. Also pray to God to deliver you from this inclination.

Do not say: I am a homosexual. Remember, if you do not agree with this and reject it and seek ways to come out of it, then you are not a homosexual.

If you are a member of the Vatican II sect and are living in heresy, then that may be one of many reasons for why you have this inclination. Please see this file for more information on Vatican II and sedevacantism:

http://www.catholic-saints.net/vatican-ii/

If you live in impurity and masturbate or indulge in sinful thoughts, that is also one reason why people are delivered over to perverse and unnatural desires. The same is true for idolatry, i.e., you show excessive love and care for worldly things and people and neglect God.

Please read this article for help and deliverance for overcoming homosexuality:

http://www.catholic-saints.net/homosexuality/

Also, never lose hope in God and do not despair. So long as you have a will not to be a homosexual and avoid sin and love God then you are not a homosexual and God's friend. It is actually not so hard to be God's friend. Ask yourself, do you have a desire to avoid all sin or not? That is how you will understand if you are God's friend or not. Have hope!

The best way to overcome homosexuality is of course by prayer. If you do not pray for help in overcoming any sin or sinful inclination, do not expect to be successful.

Regarding the Holy Rosary, Sister Lucia told Father Fuentes in a famous 1957 interview:

“Look, Father, the Most Holy Virgin in these last times in which we live has given a new efficacy to the recitation of the Holy Rosary. She has given this efficacy to such an extent that there is no problem, no matter how difficult it is, whether temporal or above all, spiritual, in the personal life of each one of us, of our families, of the families of the world, or of the religious communities, or even of the life of peoples and nations that cannot be solved by the Rosary. There is no problem I tell you, no matter how difficult it is, that we cannot resolve by the prayer of the Holy Rosary. With the Holy Rosary, we will save ourselves. We will sanctify ourselves. We will console Our Lord and obtain the salvation of many souls.”

Please read this article from another person who also had problem with sin and said he had lost hope. The recommendations apply as well to you:

https://against-all-heresies-and-errors.blogspot.com/2017/11/i-am-in-real-trouble-i-am-in-mortal-sin.html

Also, you may need to read this article below in order to stop exposing yourself to sexual temptations on the media and internet:

http://www.catholic-saints.net/spiritual/#How-to-control-your-eyes

You will find all the instructions on how to surf the internet in a safe way (with image and ad blockers) and also read about the need not to watch secular media, such as the television. If you watch television or surf the internet with images on, you will expose yourself to innumerable temptations and hence expose your chastity. Not only that, but you are also exposing yourself to the occasion of sin and those who do this cannot be saved according to Church teaching.

Pope Innocent XI, Various Errors on Moral Matters #61, March 4, 1679: “He can sometimes be absolved, who remains in a proximate occasion of sinning, which he can and does not wish to omit, but rather directly and professedly seeks or enters into.” – Condemned statement by Pope Innocent XI.

The section in the link above is a bit long but very important, since it deals with avoiding sin and the occasion of sin. People who live in the occasion of sin may be delivered over to such things that you describe and they also expose themselves to impurity and to fall into masturbation and unchaste thoughts, which also is one of the mayor reasons for homosexuality.

Related article:

http://www.catholic-saints.net/best-adblockers-imageblockers-and-flashblockers/

If there is anything else, let me know.

Q&A: "Is it okay to go for confession at a Ukrainian Catholic Church?" with Follow up Q&A concerning important information on avoiding the occasion of sin and doing penance for sin -- which most people refuse to do -- which is why they are damned in the end

Valid confession question please help me

Question: “im just curious is it okay to go for confession at a [Vatican II] Ukranian Catholic Church that uses Byzantine Rites as long as the priest [is validly ordained] rejects the antipope... and dont use for Mass or communion?

thank you God bless”

Answer: If you adhere to MHFM's (or other Traditionalists') guidelines on "Where to receive Sacraments" and their teaching is according to your conscience*, then it is possible you could do so without committing sin. But if you follow the position as explained in the article (and I assume you have read it) "About receiving the sacraments from heretics and prayer in communion with heretics" and you find it to be more in line with Catholic teaching according to your conscience* -- then no, you can not confess to them and need to stay home, confessing your sins to some friend perhaps (or to me through email), or, at least to God for now.

*Remember to always follow your conscience concerning these and similar matters, since, according to Saint Alphonsus: “...an error, in which something is believed to be mortal that is not, binds to mortal sin by conscience.” This is why St. Antoninus says: “Unless one were to have express authority of Sacred Scripture, or a canon, or a determination of the Church, or at least evident reason, something will be determined to be a mortal sin only with very great danger. ... For if something were determined to be mortal, and it were not mortal [i.e., you think it is mortal even though it is not], acting against it he will sin because everything that is against conscience paves the road to hell.” (https://against-all-heresies-and-errors.blogspot.com/2017/08/st-alphonsus-moral-theology-book-2-requirements-for-mortal-sin.html)

Remember that avoiding the occasions of sin and having a determination never to offend God again is the essential requirement in order to put a person into a state of Grace again and God's friendship -- for many confess but end up in Hell anyway -- since they have no real intention of entirely ceasing with offending God.

Please consult these relevant and important articles for more information:

About the sacrament of penance and contrition and about receiving forgiveness without an absolution
(http://www.catholic-saints.net/contrition-and-the-sacrament-of-penance/)

A “venial sin is made mortal if a human being delights in it with the intention of persevering” according to Our Lord Jesus Christ
(https://against-all-heresies-and-errors.blogspot.com/2017/04/a-venial-sin-is-made-mortal-if-a-human-being-delights-in-it.html)

Bad confessions are the road to hell for many; and of persons who have made sacrilegious confessions
(https://against-all-heresies-and-errors.blogspot.com/2017/04/bad-confessions-are-road-to-hell-for-many.html)

WHAT IS ONE OBLIGED TO CONFESS IN THE MATTER OF IMPURITY? WHAT DISTINCTION IS TO BE MADE IN REGARD TO BAD THOUGHTS?
(https://against-all-heresies-and-errors.blogspot.com/2017/05/what-is-one-obliged-to-confess-in-regards-to-impurity.html)

Understand that this position, if you adhere to it, also permit you to confess your sins to any priest (such as to a Vatican II priest) provided you do so as to a layman; but you need to make known to him in that case that you do not confess in order to receive an "absolution", but rather in order to make known your sins to someone (by confession) and by making penance for them. (Confessing is of course shameful and hence a form of penance in itself.)

Also the Ukrainian "Catholic" Church you referred to is part of the Vatican II sect and hence their "priests" may be invalidly ordained. One may never receive a sacrament from such a "priest", of course.

According to the position which to me seems more probably at present, it is only permitted to receive the sacraments from a validly ordained non-heretical, Catholic priests. Hence if you agree with this position, then you may not receive a sacrament from any priest that is not fully Catholic. This should answer your question.

According to some pre-Vatican II teachings, however, such as Holy Office replies and theologians, one could receive confession in danger of death from a heretic or schismatic (and one may argue, with a situation like ours today, that one is constantly living in "a danger of death" and of dying without the sacraments), but I am not sure if this teaching is correct since it contradicts tradition, as the articles explain.

Follow up questions and answers

The same person replied a little later, indicating that he was determined to avoid offending God for the future. He also wanted to confess his sins to me and did so, and for personal and private reasons, I will not include his email to me. But I will give you my response:

1. Even though you are not required to confess your sins to me, a confession would be a little meaningless unless you confessed all your mortal sins, even the most shameful sexual sins. But it is always good to confess. [Note: I was not accusing him of withholding anything.]

There is really no sin that would surprise me, since I know how evil and sinful I am - and have been my self.

2. You should make some penance for your sins so that you understand that it is serious, and that you will have to suffer something if you fall into such sins.

I can recommend you some easy penances, and some little harder:

-If you don't pray 15 decades of the Rosary each day [see How to Pray the Rosary], pray all 15 decades (all 3 mysteries of the Rosary) for at least a week as a penance. (You may have to remove time from other things in order to achieve this). [Preferably one should always pray the 15 decades and pray a lot every day, but for people who do not do this, it is good to make them increase prayer first by penance, and then once they have grown accustomed, they may (hopefully) retain this custom. If a person values the things of God more than the world (and if he loves God more than himself and more than his own pleasures and ease), he will of course succeed in giving himself more time for prayer. I can easily see how a person that is addicted to media and video games will pray very little and priority the things of the world and hence almost certainly be lost in the end.]

-Fast only on bread and water for a week. If this seems too hard to you, eat normally but deprive yourself of everything you would like to eat for one week, and only eat the least desirable things and avoid making the food tastier than it already is.

-Punish yourself for a week by denying yourself your own will, by giving yourself pain in some ways, such as cold showers, and denying yourself things you like. Sleep on the floor etc.

It is of course preferable to always live like this, not only for one week, but often. No one is forced to live like this every day, but many people do the mistake to only live like this as a penance for a short time, and then never thinking about it again. I my self tries to live one week of penance, followed by a more "normal" week, every day of the year! [And my intention is to become even more severe as time progresses, and I have made vows to this effect since I am fully aware of that unless one forces oneself under pain of mortal sin (such as by binding oneself under solemn vows of always progressing more and more by word of mouth to God or the Virgin) one may never get anywhere, since self-love and the love of ease and pleasure is too strong to fight against, unless one had something that forced you to move forward against your will.]

3. If you start to pray the Rosary and Hail Mary frequently your oppression problems should go away; also, if you start to live a better life by avoiding the occasions of sin, your problems should go away. However, the problem is that most people don't want to better their lives, or avoid the occasion of sins like media. We shall see what is the case with you (see point nr. 4).

4. In order to avoid falling into porn and similar things, it is important that you start surfing the internet with ad blocks, image blocks etc, and that you stop watching media and only listen to the audios. If you don't surf the internet with ad blocks and image blocks, and if you watch media such as television causally despite being told not to do so, you commit mortal sin; since it is impossible not to see countless of immodesties every day.

http://www.catholic-saints.net/best-adblockers-imageblockers-and-flashblockers/

As a penance* for your sins that in my opinion you must do for your sins (the penances above was only recommendations), is to read this section below -- and if I was a priest, I would tell you that you must do this:

http://www.catholic-saints.net/spiritual/#How-to-control-your-eyes

*I only call it penance since it is long reading [i.e, the entire long section dealing with occasions of sin concerning the media and the need to surf the internet with ad blockers and image blockers], but even without reading it as a penance, it would be important and necessary for your salvation to read it anyway. [But most people sadly don't care about information like this and many, even if they read it, refuse to implement it or, if they do implement it, walk away from it after a while due to their evil and depraved and damnable attachment to seeing images and watching media.]

Follow up questions and answers 2

Question: “oh you mean i have to confess every single sin, not just the category, i honestly dont know if i can remember all of the times

literally thousands, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands i dont know

ill try to make a list

...i do that already [some penance] I don't eat meat or dairy or eggs even though I want to, except occasionally never meat though

thank you for the advice”

Answer: You don't have to mention every case of similar masturbation for example, and you can say I have committed the sin of masturbation hundreds or thousands of times in my life. That would be valid and enough.

But perhaps you have done other forms of shameful masturbation that needs to be mentioned separately that is not similar to normal masturbation, and that are/or may be more sinful -- or at least, more shameful.

When things are added, the sin get a little different and hence, should be confessed separately.

It is good to make a list.

Many go to Hell because they are ashamed to confess their most shameful sins. If you have such sins on your conscience, please, you can speak to me about it and I can try to help you. It is easy to confess to a priest if one has already made up in one's mind to confess them, even to a layman, if necessary.

Follow up questions and answers 3

Question: “do you have Rosary to give away

I need one to help pray

i do the prayers i just don't know where to get one without supporting a an apostate church

...i feel like ive been opressed for a very long time my old house was very spooky, my sister and i both saw shadows run across rooms and stuff, i would sleepwalk once in a while, i just always felt scared im sure the sins let a demon into my life

that compelled me to do a lot of this”

Answer: 1. I have rosaries and devotionals to give away, also dvds and books -- provided you give me your address! [anyone can ask me for free items]

But it is not wrong to buy a Rosary, and you don't have to worry about buying necessary items from heretics, since this would not be considered as donating or supporting them; and that is true even if you would have to buy the rosary by clicking on a "donate" button.

2. If you start to get a good prayer life all negative spirits should be removed from your life; also your temptations will be diminished and you will be strengthened a lot in your spiritual life. The Hail Mary is a powerful prayer most pleasing to Jesus and Mary.

See these related articles on this topic:

https://against-all-heresies-and-errors.blogspot.com/2017/05/heaven-opened-by-the-practice-of-the-three-hail-marys.html

https://against-all-heresies-and-errors.blogspot.com/2017/07/devotion-to-seven-sorrows-of-mary-prayer-card.html

Also see:

https://against-all-heresies-and-errors.blogspot.com/2017/05/how-to-become-saint-how-to-love-god-etc.html

3. I mentioned ad blocks and image blockers earlier and about not watching media like television and youtube. Since this is so important for salvation and in order to avoid the occasion of sin (since watching media is an occasion of sin and surfing the internet with images on also is an occasion of sin) I would like that you answer me if you surf the internet with ad blockers and image blockers, and whether you avoid looking at media, as we teach is necessary for obtaining forgiveness and salvation.

Have you read this article's section, or will you read it? Yes or no?

http://www.catholic-saints.net/spiritual/#How-to-control-your-eyes

If you have not read it yet, I would simply ask you to do so as fast as possible and implement the changes, since it is absolutely necessary for salvation not to put oneself in the occasion of sinning like the media.

From personal experience: Most people sadly don't care about information like this and many, even if they read it, refuse to implement it or, if they do implement it, walk away from it after a while due to their evil and depraved and damnable attachment to seeing images and watching media.

Follow up questions and answers 4

Question: “thank you I read a lot of it last night

and I'm implementing changes now”

Answer: I am happy that you are determined to go against your own will and start to surf the internet with ad blocks and image blocks. Most people at most may agree with an ad block, but skip the image blockers! But I hope and trust you will not be a fool and let the worst enemies, images, remain -- hurting your soul.

Also, as the information already have detailed, if you want to save yourself and be more certain of your salvation: you need to stop watching movable media. It does not matter how attached you are to it; you need to cut it off. If you don't you risk to be lost be lost, since it might lead you into committing other sins in the end -- or at least, you will be guilty of putting yourself in an occasion of sinning, which is also a mortal sin to do, if you do not stop doing it. You know in your conscience this is true also, since you are not unfamiliar with that bad scenes, immodest scenes, and women that are badly dressed and hence tempts us -- are not infrequently shown in the media.

Most people -- even traditional Catholics! -- are so attached and obsessed with images and media, that they will never move away from it or stop exposing themselves to it, and they will come with every kind of argument for why they need to surf with images on or watch media. I look upon such people as lost.

Follow up questions and answers 5

Question: “yes I'm very interested

God has been giving me so many signs that this is the correct path dreams, discoveries of ancestors who played a role in Catholicism etc

i agree but at the same time without youtube and media i would still be living in ignorance but i understand what you say and I'm going to try the HTML text only

I'll put youtube on kids mode maybe or do something to block thumbnails i would be living in complete ignorance without youtube and would not be talking to you now if it wasn't for the medium...”

Answer: Even though good can come out of evil, that does not mean one should continue doing evil when one has learned it is bad for one's soul.

Besides, one can still use youtube even with the information presented, the only difference will be that you will not be able to see the screen, and only hear the audio.

You don't have to put up kid mode (even though you can), all you have to do is read the article and install the add ons (extensions) for google chrome or opera that are mentioned, that automatically hides all images and the video screen (do you understand what you need to do?). These extensions hides all images and videos on all websites, and images should only be allowed on necessary websites, when they are needed, and it is deemed relatively safe to put them on.

http://www.catholic-saints.net/best-adblockers-imageblockers-and-flashblockers/

You will have to use discernment when putting on images or videos* and only do it when deemed safe; initially you may feel tempted to put on the video screen often, thinking it is safe, but if you do this, you will evidently be exposed to seeing women. It is better not to even look at women at all and avoiding looking at people. And the more you expose yourself, the more dangerous it will be. The more you grow in your spiritual life, the more will you be glad to hide yourself from the world and people, and hence will be glad, and prefer, to not see the video screen or images! That is also why the saints preferred solitude with God, and hiding themselves from people, since they desired God and to keep their inner peace and virtue unharmed. They did not desire to see worldly people and indulge in the world, bur rather fled from it!

*Generally, you must always have them blocked and it is not lawful to surf the internet in a general way with images or videos unblocked. This is the problem with most people today, even traditional Catholics -- they reject the advice we give and willingly put themselves in the occasion of sinning by surfing the whole internet, even known bad sites such as youtube and daily mail, with images and videos enabled etc. and hence damn themselves.

Follow up questions and answers 6

Question: "thank you for all of the info also

it's very nice to not deal with lewd content"

Answer: Yes, and the more spiritual you become, the more you will even want to hide images and video screens and avoid people, since you will see them as distractions -- and as plain and simply harmful and dangerous, or at least, distracting.

Yet, despite this, many fools that call themselves Traditional Catholics, surf the whole internet, no matter what sites -- even daily mail -- with images enabled. They don't fear God, sin or Hell, which is why they will be damned in the end.

When people don't worry about immodesty or exposing themselves to it, this is an indication that they may already be living in mortal sin, and that they are living a lustful and/or gluttonous lifestyle, since, as St. Thomas teaches, lust and gluttony actually gives rise to "blindness of mind" concerning spiritual realities:

https://against-all-heresies-and-errors.blogspot.com/2017/05/venereal-pleasures-above-all-debauch-a-mans-mind.html

Follow up questions and answers 7

Question: "what do you do personally for confession? is there a priest near you that can use?"

Answer: I have confessed, and use to confess/talk to my spiritual brothers about such matters, as advice by St. Thomas Aquinas one can do in the absence of a confessor.

So you surf the internet now with images and videos blocked so they can't show themselves unless you allow them? Youtube also needs to be surfed with images blocked, and facebook also, etc.

I ask because even after people have told me they have done the changes, implemented the programs etc., they yet did not avoid putting themselves in the occasion of sinning by exposing themselves to images. Indeed, some people even hardly seems to care anymore about blocking images after "realizing" have much in love they were with having images, and how attached they were on seeing them, such as on news sites, or how more convenient (in the worldly sense) it were to have them on, such as on youtube.

Response: "yes i do although tonight i was not using the browser and did see some lewd content i prayed for forgiveness and will be more diligent

once in images when I was looking at the image results for purgatory on google I was looking at paintings and the abstract model and an image from a degenerate theatre play was in it

once on Wikipedia when I was reading about Japan's history in nanjing

and once from a link on YouTube about Japan nanjing and nuclear weapon (this link was explicitly lewd, i closed and prayed after)

i wasn't thinking about occasion of sin I'll definitely remind myself now how serious it is, I'm still getting used to the concept

but yes no images is the only way to be innocent as an angel or saint would be

it does make education harder i find im a visual learner so i have to get used to it"

Answer: 1. Yes it is good to be more thoughtful, that is why I asked you to read this article, which I hope you did, since it deals in depth with the need to avoid the occasion of sinning - and how important this is for one's salvation:

http://www.catholic-saints.net/spiritual/#How-to-control-your-eyes

Have you read all of it yet?

2. The saints became innocent and angels since they generally avoided looking at any people at all, men or women (but especially at the opposite sex, they avoided). St. Bridget, for example, made a confession for every face that she happened to see. This indicates that she tried avoid looking, but that she made mistakes.

3. When images are necessary or needed, they may be put on. But it is not lawful to surf with them on in a general sense in the ways you explained. Please install the image, ad and flash blockers as fast as possible.

Many educational images are without people and hence lawful to look at and enable if they are needed (otherwise, one could skip looking at them), provided one is fairly certain the image will be safe. In the beginning one will be tempted to put on images all the time, but as time progresses, the curiosity will diminish and one will find happiness in the peace of conscience in not exposing oneself to damnation or spiritual harm.

Enabling an image from curiosity -- such as religious images --, and provided the image is deemed safe, is also more excusable, although, it can be dangerous.

I have images blocked on wikipedia as well, although, I may occasionally enable on some image if it is deemed safe, especially on religious articles. Secular articles can always be dangerous, of course.

Some sites will show the image place-holder so you can manually enable the image(s) with wizmage provided the fast image blocker is disabled for this site. I tell you this in order to make you know if perhaps you needed to active an image in order to do some necessary thing put can’t see any image place-holders.

P.S.

This information is somewhat relevant to what you wrote, and it deals also with the problem that happened with you in google images and about how one should act before enabling an image:

I read in their "Updates" section a while ago: “We ourselves do not watch any videos anymore except exclusively when for the sake of making videos [for our website]. We also try to avoid reading any secular news or other worldly websites. Now we only listen to audio, having all the movable images blocked. [See the Chrome/Opera/Vivaldi and Firefox/IceDragon sections on how to watch youtube while the video screen remains hidden (the video screen can still be activated easily with one click).] On youtube, when we watch something on youtube, we do not watch the videos but only listen to them by downloading them as audio (or video) and listened to them only in audio [as described in the links], or at least, by avoiding watching at the screen if we were watching it on youtube by scrolling down so that the player is not seen, or on other video sites [this was our approach before we learned that the video screen could be hidden with extensions]. Anyone who cares about virtue and about their eternal salvation and for those who fear not to offend God by viewing or seeing bad scenes or images, will of course do the same thing, since it’s almost impossible to watch anything today that does not contain immodesty or that will harm one’s virtue. Even purely Christian films, whether on tv or youtube, have many bad and unacceptable scenes, statues or images in them. What then could be said about more secular media, documentaries, or series?

“The same can be said about images.

“Before when we were more stupid we did search for images in Google Images for our articles (even more secular articles) or automatically included the images contained in other peoples articles and did not always surf the internet in a general sense with images blocked, which is a highly stupid thing to do and an occasion of sinning since the internet is completely filled with immodesties and occasions of sinnings. But we don't do this any longer and we usually don't even care about having any images at all anymore for our articles.

“Perhaps if we think some image have some necessity and is safe to look at we can include it or look at it, such as, for example, an image of Our Lady of Guadalupe that can be viewed in the Our Lady of Guadalupe Wikipedia entry, which should be a more safe approach than searching for it in Google Images. Also some Windows 10 images have recently been used in the How to disable Windows 10 advertisements section and been searched for in Google Images in a safe way or been borrowed from other articles, but only because such images generally ought to be safe, and hence they would be more “excusable” to look for when one have a necessity. One generally can assume what topics and images ought to be safe and not include any people or women in them, and if one don't have this assurance, one must be absolutely careful or even avoid it completely since this could be an occasion of sinning.

“But even when an image or images are thought to be more safe or necessary, still, one should not look at such an image directly when searching for it or when opening it or enabling it with Wizmage in order that one may not get exposed to anything immodest directly to one's face. It also helps me personally that I have poor near sight, since this means I can look outside my glasses in order to try to discern beforehand (with bad sight) whether the image or images are deemed safe or not and whether it is just a normal Windows image without any people or women in it etc. When one don't know that a webpage and image is safe, one must be very careful before enabling it and looking at it.

“Yes, one needs to be careful if one wants to be saved, and those who are not careful about themselves and just expose themselves to all kinds of dangers (as almost all people do today, whether they be self-professed Traditional Catholics or not as detailed in this post) will not be saved, since they will be abandoned by God and fall into sin, as explained in another article.”


Related articles:
Q&A: On Keeping Custody of the Eyes, Avoiding the Occasion of Sin, Sexual Ethics and Mortification etc.
https://against-all-heresies-and-errors.blogspot.com/2017/09/on-custody-of-the-eyes-and-mortification.html

God is Pleased with Penance and Mortification, and not Sensual Gratification
https://against-all-heresies-and-errors.blogspot.com/2017/04/god-is-pleased-with-penance-and-mortification.html

Q&A: Tell us about how you left bad influences like the media behind?

Quote from: Jacob on October 15, 2016, 10:15:33 PM

Quote from: Jacob on October 15, 2016, 03:32:13 PM

Jerome, tell us about how you left bad influences behind?  What changed in your life so that you were able to put aside things like anime and other forms of media?

Jerome, you must have missed this.  Thanks for replying.

Hi

First of all, it is always the grace of God which acts before any change can take place in a person; and this obviously was the case with me.

Secondly, prayers (meditations, rosaries etc.) need to follow, since it is a dogmatic fact that those who don't pray will be damned and not change [their life] (unless God's grace intervenes); but the opposite also is true, i.e., that just because one prays the Rosary, for example, does not mean - by that fact alone - that one will make the necessary changes in one's life. St. Alphonsus explains it thusly:

Quote

        “Some one may say, I do not make mental prayer [from the heart], but I say many vocal prayers [with the tongue]. But it is necessary to know, as St. Augustine remarks, that to obtain the divine grace it is not enough to pray with the tongue: it is necessary also to pray with the heart. On the words of David: “I cried to the Lord with my voice,” the holy Doctor [Augustine] says: “Many cry not with their own voice (that is, not with the interior voice of the soul), but with that of the body. Your thoughts are a cry to the Lord. Cry with in, where God hears.” This is what the Apostle inculcates. Praying at all times in the spirit. In general, vocal prayers are said distractedly [through mere habit] with the voice of the body, but not of the heart [as in mental prayer], especially when they are long, and still more especially when said by a person who does not make mental prayer [from the heart]; and therefore God seldom hears them, and seldom grants the graces asked [since they only or almost always pray by habit or custom and thus lack the real disposition of a true purpose, love, faith and desire required in order to be heard and receive graces]. Many say the Rosary, the Office of the Blessed Virgin, and perform other works of devotion; but they still continue in sin. But it is impossible for him who perseveres in mental prayer to continue in sin; he will either give up meditation or renounce sin. A great servant of God used to say that mental prayer and sin cannot exist together. And this we see by experience: they who make mental prayer rarely incur the enmity of God; and should they ever have the misfortune of falling into sin, by persevering in mental prayer, they see their misery, and return to God. Let a soul, says St. Teresa, be ever so negligent, if she persevere in meditation, the Lord will bring her back to the haven of salvation.” (St. Alphonsus, The True Spouse of Jesus Christ, CHAPTER XV: MENTAL PRAYER, Moral Necessity of Mental Prayer for Religious)

[Note: Meditation is the process of deliberately focusing and thinking on specific thoughts (e.g. the evil of sin and the eternity of hell and the goodness of God) and reflecting on their meaning in the context of the love of God and one's own life; it is thus a prayer mostly of good and serious thoughts rather than of repetitive words. A person who seriously meditates in this way on various topics according to St. Alphonsus and St. Theresa, will not continue long in sin, since "he will either give up meditation or renounce sin."]

Many people, for instance, do not frequently give themselves enough time -- or perhaps don't even have time -- to perform all their desired vocal prayers, and especially longer prayers, and the consequence of this will be that many of them will pray very little, or seldom if their only form of prayer is vocal prayer. A good form of prayer, then, that is more easily performed by everyone, no matter how troublesome prayer may ever feel to you[*], or however little time you might imagine that you have to spare, is simply that you talk with God as with a real person at all times: in your car, in the toilet, in your work, when you eat... yes everywhere and at all times a man can talk with God, Our Creator and Father as with a real person in the same way as little children does towards their own Father, like when they tell Him how much they love Him, and mentioning all their troubles and worries and that He might help them and protect them, supplicating His help all the time. We should thus learn from these little Children and imitate them and behave as they do towards our own Father and Mother in Heaven, by telling Them that we love Them and that we want to love Them very much and that we need Their help to love Them even more and that we need Their help to resist sin and do good, whatever it might be. A person who prays with confidence in this way everyday will certainly not be lost or be neglecting his duty to pray well. Jesus Christ himself teaches us this very concept in the Bible. “And he [Jesus] spoke also a parable to them, that we ought always to pray, and not to faint...” (Luke 18:1)

[*It is, however, a really bad sign when a person feels an aversion or contempt to holy prayers like the Rosary. A person should do his utmost to persevere in praying the Rosary and other vocal and mental prayers since the Devil often tempts people to stop praying them because he knows and feels how much they lessen his power over a person’s soul.]

Thirdly, and this is connected with God's grace; and that is that God allowed me (and I am thankful to Him for it, since I understand how much good it has done to me) to be almost always negatively affected by viewing or watching at things that are harmful to modesty and chastity. I just can't look at almost anything that to me is immodest or not modest enough without having a reaction (not necessarily sexual in every case) [even if a thing is modest, I can still be disturbed by it, which is why I generally avoid looking at people[1]]. It is hard for me to explain what this reaction is when not directly sensual [or sexual], but something within me is put in motion, and even my eyes become affected and I feel vulnerable and weak [and a war is waged inside me, like flesh and spirit being opposed to each other]. Perhaps it is partly fear of sinning; partly my conscience rebuking me for not being careful enough; and partly my lust tormenting me [and my weaknesses and psychology affecting me].

Fourth, because of my reactions, it started to get impossible for me to watch media or surf with images on, since to even see a woman [or sometimes even men] gave me disturbing thoughts or feelings many times [against my will], in that the devil suggested all kinds of sinful [or disturbing] thoughts in my mind[2]. Why did this happen? Because I put my self in a totally unnecessary occasion of being exposed, and those who do this will be abandoned by God to themselves; and without God's grace, a fall will eventually happen. This is explained by St. Alphonsus thusly:

“Brother Roger, a Franciscan of singular purity, being once asked why he was so reserved in his intercourse with women, replied, that when men avoid the occasions of sin, God preserves them; but when they expose themselves to danger, they are justly abandoned by the Lord, and easily fall into some grievous transgressions.” (St. Alphonsus Liguori, The True Spouse of Jesus Christ, Mortification of the Eyes, p. 221)

Fifth. Since I understood how easily a sin can be committed in one's thought, and since my sinful thoughts sometimes were so imposing that I actually feared I will consent to them, I greatly lamented and considered what I must do in order to diminish this from happening to me. This fear and understanding of my duty to avoid bad occasions is what eventually lead me to make many changes in my life.

St. Alphonsus explains how one bad thought, yes one single bad thought consented too, is enough to damn someone; and he shows us the most tragic and fearful example of this having happened to a person (to a parent's child!) who previously had never committed a single mortal sin!

Quote

        St. Alphonsus: “Listen to this example: A boy used often to go to confession; and every one took him to be a saint. One night he had a hemorrhage, and he was found dead. His parents went at once to his confessor, and crying begged him to recommend him to God; and he said to them: "Rejoice; your son, I know, was a little angel; God wished to take him from this world, and he must now be in heaven; should he, however, be still in purgatory, I will go to say Mass for him." He put on his vestments to go to the altar; but before leaving the sacristy, he saw himself in the presence of a frightful spectre, whom he asked in the name of God who he was. The phantom answered that he was the soul of him that had just died. Oh! is it you? exclaimed the priest; if you are in need of prayers, I am just going to say Mass for you. Alas! Mass! I am damned, I am in hell! And why? "Hear," said the soul: "I had never yet committed a mortal sin; but last night a bad thought came to my mind; I gave consent to it, and God made me die at once, and condemned me to hell as I have deserved to be. Do not say Mass for me; it would only increase my sufferings." Having spoken thus, the phantom disappeared.” (The complete ascetical works of St. Alphonsus, vol. 15, p. 167)

If one meditates on this seriously, one will quickly understand how serious this is. It is not a joke, and when one understands that one can be damned for even a single thought (or that one's child could be damned for having consented to a single wicked thought through the media you perhaps allow them to watch or surf[4]) and that this happens to people, then one must necessarily start to fear for oneself and others and make changes for oneself and them; for “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” (Psalm 110:10), but “The perverse are hard to be corrected, and the number of fools [and damned people] is infinite” (Ecclesiastes 1:15)

Notes:

[1] Saints also generally always avoided looking at people, whether male of female[3]. A person that does not try to mortify his eyes will of course never come to a full realization of the evil, and many times harmful effects that can (and often) come from looks. To give just a few examples from personal experience that most people probably also suffers from: Looking at people, especially in the media, often leads to judging them by their looks, by how they speak, by how they behave, etc.: he is a nerd/but I am not?; he is ugly/and what about your own interior?; she is hot/better not even think about it; he is homosexual or acts like one/but perhaps he is not; he is a liar/or is he?; he is a thief/really?; he is a rapist or a pedophile/am I sure?; he is a murderer or she has committed an abortion/do I have any evidence of this?; he is guilty of.../but what if he is not?; I am better than he/oh what pride!; he looks evil/and what do you think you are?; he looks like a creep/and how does God look at you?; what a fool/but you are a greater fool!; I would have done better/are you sure?; how could he...I would not have done that/oh stop fooling yourself...and because you thought like this, you better fear because God might perhaps let you fall into the very same thing yourself now! etc.), and this is something I really don't like; and this by itself makes me not want to watch videos.

But not only do one get thoughts that makes judgement against others based on their behavior or looks or deeds (even if one don't want such thoughts to happen, they do come; I don't say they come always, but they do come), but one may also start to judge their intentions, why they said this or that, or why they behaved in such a way, or why they did this or that movement (such as a hand movement, eye movement, how they walk and talk, their facial expressions etc., ad infinitum), which is also an evil. Temptations to sensuality and lust is obvious; and they are the worst, but not the most common; so not much have to be said about that. But since these other temptations to judgments are so much more common, they might be more dangerous; and they obviously affect a person in a negativ way in their spiritual life, and may even lead to the sin of rash judgment, slander, detraction and calumny, if not openly, at least interiorly. Another evil that affects a person is that one gets influenced by the people in the media. Sin happens frequently in the media. But how often does the viewer get the impression that the sinful action was WRONG? If the media distorts reality to suggest that sinful behavior is either neutral or good, or that such characters are to be praised, it is dangerous. And this happens almost all the time in the media today. This fact alone also makes me afraid to watch media and follow media characters, since I am afraid to be deceived to start looking upon the evil they do and/or condone as "good" or "praiseworthy", or even "neutral".

Another great problem with watching media is the constant distraction it causes within a person's mind which will almost completely extinguish his devotion; or at least, make him very distracted during prayer or reading. St. Theresa and St. Alphonsus is very clear on that the reading of worldly novels or romances is enough to completely destroy devotion in many in people, especially young women; and if this is so, what then are one to think about worldly media and distracting and many times harmful images?

St. Alphonsus: “Fathers should not allow their children to read romances. These sometimes do more harm than even obscene books; they put fantastical notions and affections into young persons heads, which destroy all devotion, and afterwards impel them to give themselves up to sin. "Vain reading," says St. Bonaventure, "begets vain thoughts and extinguishes devotion." Make your children read spiritual books, ecclesiastical histories, and the lives of the saints. And here I repeat: Do not allow your daughters to be taught their lessons by a man [or the media], though he be a St. Paul or a St. Francis of Assisi. The saints are in heaven.” (The complete ascetical works of St. Alphonsus, vol. 15, pp. 480-482)

Theresa, The Life Of: “What I shall now speak of was, I believe, the beginning of great harm to me. I contracted a habit of reading books; and this little fault which I observed was the beginning of lukewarmness in my good desires, and the occasion of my falling away in other respects. I thought there was no harm in it when I wasted many hours night and day in so vain an occupation, even when I kept it a secret from my father. So completely was I mastered by this passion, that I thought I could never be happy without a new book.”

Fr. Faber agrees completely with St. Theresa and St. Alphonsus on this point. In the middle of "Growth in Holiness" he suddenly breaks off to write a few pages describing how horrified he was by popular trend of the day in the 1850's for females to read romance novels like those of the Bronte sisters. He called this practice a "hothouse of every vice." Like St. Alphonsus, he believed that the long-term emotional damage caused by romance novels might be worse than the effect of reading outright immorality.

Media today is in fact one of the greatest - if not the greatest - reason why people pray so little and read so little. Many could have enough time to do this more if they wanted to, but since they spend their time badly, they choose rather to spend most of their time on things to their liking, such as watching the media!

[2] Fr. Alphonsus Rodriguez, S.J., Practise of Perfection and Christian Virtues, Ninth Treatise, Chapter XVII: “Involuntary motions, bad thoughts occurring against purity, against faith, or against any other virtue whatsoever, for which many afflict themselves very much, are not sins. Wherefore the Saints bid us not to put ourselves at all in pain for them; it is not the feeling these impressions, but the consenting to them which makes the sin. When you loathe these temptations and endeavour to resist them, and do not entertain them or take satisfaction in them, they are no sin, but, on the contrary, an occasion of greater merit.
       “So of inclinations and evil emotions that we have of our nature, some more, others less, from which arise such evil stirrings in our appetite, and such repugnances and reluctances for virtue; it is not in this point that one is good or evil, perfect or imperfect, for the thing is natural and not in our own control, it is the inheritance of sin. St. Paul, though he was St. Paul, felt the contradiction and rebellion of his flesh, and said: "I see another law in my members, fighting against the law of my mind, and leading me captive in the law of sin that is in my members" (Rom. vii. 23). St. Augustine explains to this effect the verse of the Psalm, "Be ye angry, and sin not" (Ps. 4): "That is, though there arise in your heart some first motion, which now being part of the penalty of sin is not in our power, at least let not the will consent to it, but in mind let us serve the law of God, though yet in flesh we serve the law of sin (Rom. vii. 25). Though there arise in your appetite the movement of impatience and anger, do not let yourself be carried away or consent to it, and you shall not sin."”

The Rev. Father Peter J. Arnoudt, S.J., The Imitation of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, The First Book, Chapter XIV: “1. The voice of Jesus… Do not be afflicted nor sad, My Child, because thou art assailed, against thy will, by various temptations; be rather rejoiced and consoled. For it is a sign that thou art in the state of grace[*], and that thou followest My standard. If thou didst adhere to the devil, he would surely not attack what is his own; but because thou standest by Me, therefore does he tempt thee, and endeavor to draw thee over to his ranks.
       “2. My Child, temptation is not prevarication; yea, so long as it is displeasing to thee, it is meritorious of a Divine reward. Therefore, however loathsome the things which the enemy may suggest, be not uneasy; however violently he may entice thee to evil, think not that thou art forsaken by Me. Never am I nearer to thee, or more ready to help thee, than when thou sufferest under these trials. When thou art tempted, Child, I stand by, looking on the struggle, and helping thee, that, being thus encouraged and aided, thou mayst not only withstand the foe, but gloriously triumph over him. Be, therefore, ready for the combat: no one shall be crowned, unless he has struggled lawfully; and he that shall overcome shall receive the crown of life. …
       “5. … He that prays amid temptation, as he ought, cannot be overcome; but he that neglects prayer, is usually vanquished. Resist generously from the very beginning of the temptation, and pray fervently in this, or a similar manner: O, Jesus! hide me within Thy Heart, that I may not be separated from Thee . . . O, God! my God! come to my assistance . . . Jesus and Mary! make haste to help me . . . I will rather die, O Lord, than commit sin. If the enemy continue to tempt, faithfully withdraw thy mind from the object of the temptation; and, having earnestly turned it to other things, either good or indifferent, persevere in prayer, persevere in thus resisting, not with anxiety or impatience, but calmly and steadily: and the foe shall either flee away, or stand abashed.”

[*] This and similar statements must not be understood or be applied to all persons as an infallible certitude, since many people can be tempted and yet be in a state of damnation. God often uses and allows temptations in order to influence bad people to make changes in their life. Being tempted is thus a good sign since this means one is not yet entirely abandoned by God. “The greatest of all evils is to be not tempted, because then there are grounds for believing that the Devil looks upon us as his property. The Devil only tempts those souls that wish to abandon sin [and that God mercifully grants temptations despite their unworthiness] and those that are in a state of grace. The others belong to him; he has no need to tempt them.” (St. Jean-Baptiste Marie Vianney, The Cure d’Ars, 1786-1859)

[3] St. Francis of Assisi used to exhort his brethren frequently to guard and mortify their senses with the utmost care. He especially insisted on the custody of the eyes, and he used this parable of a King’s two messengers to demonstrate how the purity of the eyes reveals the chastity of the soul:

       “A certain pious King sent two messengers successively to the Queen with a communication from himself. The first messenger returned and brought an answer from the Queen, which he delivered exactly. But of the Queen herself he said nothing because he had always kept his eyes modestly cast down and had not raised them to look at her.
       “The second messenger also returned. But after delivering in a few words the answer of the Queen, he began to speak warmly of her beauty. “Truly, my lord,” he said, “the Queen is the most fair and lovely woman I have ever seen, and thou art indeed happy and blessed to have her for thy spouse.”
       “At this the King was angry and said: “Wicked servant, how did you dare to cast your eyes upon my royal spouse? I believe that you may covet what you have so curiously gazed upon.”
       “Then he commanded the other messenger to be recalled, and said to him: “What do you think of the Queen?”
       “He replied, “She listened very willingly and humbly to the message of the King and replied most prudently.”
       “But the Monarch again asked him, “But what do you think of her countenance? Did she not seem to you very fair and beautiful, more so than any other woman?”
The servant replied, “My lord, I know nothing of the Queen’s beauty. Whether she be fair or not, it is for thee alone to know and judge. My duty was only to convey thy message to her.”
       “The King rejoined, “You have answered well and wisely. You who have such chaste and modest eyes shall be my chamberlain. From the purity of your eyes I see the chastity of your soul. You are worthy to have the care of the royal apartments confided to you.”
       “Then, turning to the other messenger, he said: “But you, who have such unmortified eyes, depart from the palace. You shall not remain in my house, for I have no confidence in your virtue.” (The Works of the Seraphic Father St. Francis of Assisi, London: R. Washbourne, 1882, pp. 254-255)

St. Anthony Mary Claret writes:

       “What is more, I shall relate another instance which could not have been so, had I not received very special graces from heaven. While I was in the island of Cuba, for six years and two months to be exact, I confirmed more than 300,000 persons, the majority of whom were women, and young ones at that. If any one were to ask me what are the characteristics of the Cuban women’s features, I would say that I do not know, despite the fact that I have confirmed so many of them. In order to administer the Sacrament of Confirmation, I had to look where their foreheads were, and this I did in a rapid glance, after which I shut my eyes and kept them shut all during the administration of the Sacrament.” (From the Autobiography of St. Anthony Mary Claret)

St. Alphonsus Liguori:

       “Hence, to avoid the sight of dangerous objects, the saints were accustomed to keep their eyes almost continually fixed on the earth, and to abstain even from looking at innocent objects. After being a novice for a year, St. Bernard could not tell whether his cell was vaulted. In consequence of never raising his eyes from the ground, he never knew that there were but three windows to the church of the monastery, in which he spent his novitiate. He once, without perceiving a lake, walked along its banks for nearly an entire day; and hearing his companions speak about it, he asked when they had seen it. St. Peter of Alcantara kept his eyes constantly cast down, so that he did not know the brothers with whom he conversed. It was by the voice, and not by the countenance, that he was able to recognize them.
       “The saints were particularly cautious not to look at persons of a different sex. St. Hugh, bishop, when compelled to speak with women, never looked at them in the face. St. Clare would never fix her eyes on the face of a man. She was greatly afflicted because, when raising her eyes at the elevation to see the consecrated host, she once involuntarily saw the countenance of the priest. St. Aloysius never looked at his own mother in the face.” (The True Spouse of Jesus Christ, Modesty of the Eyes, pp. 252-261)

[4] A person who watches secular media (even religious media or movies can be, and many times are, unsafe to watch, as—to give only one example—the notoriously immoral religious film Becket shows!) or don't surf the internet with images blocked and with an ad blocker,—or let their children do these things,—can hardly be said to be “careful” or be a “good parent”, however “careful” and “good” he thinks he is, since he is exposing himself and his children daily to occasions of sinnings and immodesties; and since they do this they cannot be saved since they cannot be absolved: “He can sometimes be absolved, who remains in a proximate occasion of sinning, which he can and does not wish to omit, but rather directly and professedly seeks or enters into.” (Condemned statement by Pope Innocent XI, Various Errors on Moral Matters #61, March 4, 1679). And “Brother Roger, a Franciscan of singular purity, being once asked why he was so reserved in his intercourse with women, replied, that when men avoid the occasions of sin, God preserves them; but when they expose themselves to danger, they are justly abandoned by the Lord, and easily fall into some grievous transgressions.” (St. Alphonsus Liguori, The True Spouse of Jesus Christ, Mortification of the Eyes, p. 221). Here we can see that a person who does not avoid the occasions of sinning cannot be absolved and hence cannot be saved, and that those who do not avoid dangerous occasions will be abandoned by God and infallibly fall into sin. Yet despite this Catholic truth, this is almost exactly how all people live today,—or how parents let their children live,—whether they claim to be Traditional Catholics or not, as seen in this post and by their bad will and resistance to the truth. So what does this tell us? It tells us that few are saved indeed (Mt. 7:13), which is absolutely true,—and has been true in all ages,—but even more so today!